


face to face i got nothing to say

by runninohhoney



Category: Pentatonix, Superfruit
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, a lot of feelings, background meau and scomark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 18:06:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16372487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runninohhoney/pseuds/runninohhoney
Summary: mitch bites his lip. "i'm sorry i couldn't be there for you."





	face to face i got nothing to say

**Author's Note:**

> set after the most recent superfruit livestream. wrote this in an hour maybe so it's not perfect, but i just have Feelings to let out.
> 
> title is from "lose us" by rozzi and scott, of course.

scott picks up the almost finished bottle of wine and the glass and carries them to the kitchen. mitch has gone back to his usually quiet state, texting absently on his phone.

he doesn't have the energy to clean the stuff up, so he leaves both things on the counter and props his elbows next to them, looking at the back of mitch's head.

his mullet has grown so much he almost can't remember how does the back of his shaven head look like - almost. the last time they hung out together just for the sake of it, and not for songwriting or superfruit or pentatonix reasons behind it, mitch's hair was short on his nape.

"will you stay over?", scott asks.

there's a beat of silence as mitch finishes sending his text and turns around to face scott. "probably not". he gives scott an apologetic smile.

"is beau coming for you?", says scott before he can remember he isn't in la - and mitch and beau don't live together, anyway.

mitch still gives him an answer. "no, he's not in the city. i'll call an uber or something". he opens his mouth and takes a breath and scott feels like he might add something else, like "i wouldn't wake him up to do it, though" or "we are not like that", but he closes his mouth again. scott feels a little tug of pain on his chest.

_there's nothing that's in my brain that i would not just tell you_

"yeah, yeah."

it's five am. ithe sun is gonna come out soon and scott doesn't wana go to bed with his hair greasy like this, but he's too exhausted to take a shower, and he doesn't wanna wake mark up anyways. he'll think about it later, he decides. right now he has to walk mitch to the front door.

they do it on silence, one that doesn't feel too uncomfortable - maybe because they're both really tired. scott kind of hates it. he feels the urge to fill it with small talk, say something stupid that mitch will roll his eyes at, but he knows he doesn't need to do it. lately he feels like he's always tip-toeing around mitch, not knowing exactly what to say or do, when it used to be so easy for them. he wonders, he hopes mitch feels the same - he just doesn't want to feel alone on his awkwardness.

mitch picks up his coat and puts it on, and scott sticks his hands on his jean pockets, rehearsing on his head the correct way tell him "goodbye". when mitch looks at him he knows it's his cue to talk, but he doesn't say anything.

a second later mitch opens his mouth.

"dc party, right?", he smiles.

well, this is a little better. "do you really want to come with us?". mitch hasn't been around his friends since... over a year, maybe. he's not sure he even knows their names.

"it sounds fun, i don't know. beau and i can pick our batman and gatubela outfits and just do it."

scott laughs at the thought of that, and mitch's smile is the most genuine one he's seen this night. he turns to face the door, ready to leave now.

"you don't have to, though", scott adds, his voice small.

mitch doesn't look at him. scott keeps going. "we can just, like, have a movie night. i don't know. the two of us. and keep up with ourselves and shit."

mitch doesn't say anything for a moment and scott feels stupid for saying it. maybe he didn't really mean it. he said it on camera, maybe it wasn't true, maybe--

"i'd like it." he finally looks at him. "i miss us, you know?"

yes. yes he knows. he smiles sadly and nods, and hopes mitch can tell what's going on inside of his head, how much all of this means to him.

"are you alright, though?"

mitch doesn't answer immediately and scott fears he'll have to elaborate, and he can't help but think that two years ago they could tell each other everything with just one look.

"yeah. well, aside of the disconnected... thing. i've just been very anxious all the time, you know, the stuff that i can't really help. i do wanna try like, talking to my friends, keeping in touch. i haven't done that in a while", he finishes while looking at scott.

 _you can talk to me,_ scott wants to say - wants to scream -, but he realizes it's a shallow promise. he hasn't been there for mitch and viceversa. drifting away was a thing that he feared for a long time, and oh, so many times with mitch. back when they were kids, after they dated, after the sing off, so many times while they were living together, later when they moved and their group of friends became so different and they stopped having wine nights and parties. he stayed on denial for months after it started happening, but after realizing he spent most of the time outside their house and barely saw mitch outside work, he had to grasp the truth. they mentioned moving out and then they did, and the promise of keeping in touch ("we live like, two miles away from each other, right?") got lost with all the other things that made their friendship so special.

even though he's known mitch for over fifteen years, he doesn't have a clue of what to say right now.

maybe mitch catches that, but scott feels irrationally mad as his friend waits for an answer and then twists his mouth, as he thinks scott doesn't care. he _does,_ he just doesn't know how to truly make mitch believe it's not another empty white lie.

"how are the things with mason?", mitch says, very slow and tentatively. scott feels another tug of pain on his heart.

that was another mess in his life he didn't feel like taking care of. they had agreed on taking some time to think stuff over, but then mark appeared at his door step, ready to go to new york, and how could have he said no when he loved him so, so much. he clinged to the happiness mark's love and support gave him and pushed all the thoughts about mason on a little box inside his head. everything felt broken and unable to come together again, and he hated to think about mark and mason's long term relationship. hated to think, to _admit_ that he was the one who had ruined everything.

"not so good", he finally settles in. he can't mask the pain in his voice and all the remaining sarcasm in mitch's face fades. "we haven't talked in two weeks."

"i'm...", mitch bites his lip. "i'm sorry i couldn't be there for you."

scott feels the weight of the words on his body. _me too me too me too._

"me too."

mitch snorts and a little smile appears. he can tell how frustrated he is - he himself is frustrated about all of this. they're both going through terrible stuff right now and bottling it up because they can't trust on each other, and that's bullshit.

"come here tomorrow", scott blurts out, desperately. "day off. we can... hell, we can do anything."

"yeah", mitch stares at the ground, and his smile turns a little more soft, more genuine. "yeah, i will."

"like, 6 pm?"

"i'll be here."

"good", he feels a lump on his throat. he didn't realize how much he was containing himself and all the thoughts he had on his mind. "good."

he places a hand on mitch's shoulder, awkward and unsure. he's always the first one to make the move, he remembers.

but it's mitch the one who surges forward and wraps his arms tightly around his body, and scott swears he feels a little less hopeless and sad about them, about everything.

"see you tomorrow, then", mitch whispers. scott presses his hands softly on mitch's back and sighs.

"ugh, we're gonna sleep for like, three hours", he moans, and he hears a soft giggle against his chest.

"i better get going, then", mitch says and steps back, taking out his phone.

when they smile at each other, it feels like home.

he goes back to sleep and cuddles behind a deeply asleep mark, and tomorrow looks a little more brighter.


End file.
